Ambiguous Daughter

Though time passes on
My clock sitting still
A void much too strong
I simply cannot fill

It's been ten years
Since I last held you close
In an effort to breathe
This poem I'll compose:

My ambiguous daughters
you were just under three
I was the best mommy
that I knew how to be

There sadly came a day
I thought never would be
On my knees I would pray
You'd come back to me

In a tiny cramped room
I held you for an hour
I said that I was sorry
I'd lost all my power

The social worker warned
I had to walk away
our time was over
They wouldn't let me stay

Gabby rushed to her coat
it was purple with fur
Never will I forget
the aching cry from her

Mommy she cried
I want to go in your car
Her young spoken grief
left an ageless scar

Falling to my knees
I held her secure
I promised her soon
for this I was sure

Maddy still young
yet smart and aware
cried with her sister
helpless wimpers of despair

Never had I known
Children so sad
my daughters were alone
A corrupt systems' fad

A mom at eighteen
with flaws I confessed
Not given one chance
with a truth they suppressed

Time has passed slow
eleven years of grief
I vow to my daughters
my promise to keep

Twelve and Thirteen
your pictures bring me peace
Behind a laptop screen
My love cannot cease

Wherever you are
any hour, day or time
I want you to know
this is more than a rhyme

I carry you with me
through the sunshine and stars
I'll forever hold on
to what's rightly only ours

Whatever you've heard
or perhaps may have not
what you might remember
or have even forgot

I must reach out
in any possible way
even if you'll never
come back to me one day

You are loved beyond love
You are missed beyond time
to myself you're a part of
Far beyond just a rhyme